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PERFECT IMPERFECTION: WHY LESS WILL NEVER BE MORE, WITH WONDER WOMAN'S ETTA CANDY!

By Edgar Miraculous Dyer

A Wonderfan once said, "Nubia is perfection. Etta is perfect imperfection. Don't need 2 Nubias."

I'm still there. Standing by that.

I don't like to see writers or artists slimming down the original Wonder Girl, Etta Candy, for political correctness ..or modernity. I think it was a mistake tying DC Comics' Wonder Woman comic into that network-rejected David Kelley pilot - you know the one, starring Adrianne Palicki, loosely based on Greg Rucka's critically acclaimed run. The fat, weird, fun and fun-loving Etta in the comic - the Golden Age Wonder Woman's Robin - was one of the major casualties of this game-changing TV tie-in.

Frankly, I don't see any reasons that Etta has to be black, anyway, ..except to tie-into that failed, never-aired Kelly TV show pilot. She might just as well be Irish, Mexican or Chinese. Etta can be anybody...any of us, ..and that was Wonder-creator William Moulton Marston's point in making her Wonder Woman's girl Friday and best galpal.

Let me say...I'm totally digging the marvelously unflappable, wiseacre, judo-fighting, black, lesbian secret agent, Etta Candy, as written by current Wonder-scribes, Michael W. Conrad (Tremor Dose, Batgirls, X-O Manowar) and Becky Cloonan (The Punisher, Southern Cross, Batgirls)! I'd like to see more of her and Diana playing together - toppling evil empires and battling power-mad despots - like in the Golden Age Forties, ..but, at least, she's a regular in the comic again! After seeing Wonder Woman's Robin left out ..by one celebrity writer, after another. The Cloon'Rad & Co Etta Candy, ..fat, black and commanding ..is a rocket-launch in the right direction!

LIZZO's over-the-top persona and performances are modern Etta Candiness defined, the way Wonder-creator Marston's pistol-packing cowgirl did it for the 1940s. Go HUGE or go home!

Changing a character's ethnicity enhances a story's diversity, when readers desire this ..or when the change in ethnicity doesn't take away or diminish the story that's being told. When it comes to telling the best story possible versus indulging multicultural identity politics, I think the writer/artist must choose to tell a good story ..and owes that to us, the audience.

Politics be damned.

In some respects, changing Etta Candy from a white woman into a black woman ultimately ruined the character. Bet you didn't expect to find THAT, way up in this piece! I'm still standing here. Standing by that. Ignore the mushroom cloud of political correctness, overhead.

The smell of burnt good intentions...ha!

And now, fellow politicos...context - here it comes! Since the change, I think some writers are uncomfortable with how black Etta's obesity, comedic nature and obnoxiousness might make her a horrible stereotype of African American women. To play it safe, they give us a new Etta, who was a lesser character - not as physically or visually interesting (or FAT, as the original), not funny or weird ..and without the quirks that made her so complimentary to her good-natured leader, Wonder Woman. Initially, new, black Etta was a lesser Etta in every respect - the perilous, political implications of her diversity...getting it incorrect, somehow, ..took far more away from the story, than it added to it.

That hasn't been a fair trade for us loyal fans of all colors and creeds, like myself, ..who loved the original. For us diehard comixeurs, ..story will always come first. It is nigh a religion.

Keep in mind that we don't have to keep race-swapping or race-dumping popular, classic comic book characters, if writers would just make us some NEW ones that were as good, as the old ones, ..like African American supporting characters, Ron Troupe in the Superman comics or Amazing Spider-Man's Robbie Robertson.

It looks like Mr. Rucka has fixed that. As an added bonus, ..we might get to see how the positive attitudes that African American women in modern media - Lizzo, Amber Riley, Oprah Winfrey, Mo'Nique, Gabourey Sidibe, Octavia Spencer, Queen Latifah, Aretha Franklin and others - have historically held about women's body types can enhance the experience of reading Wonder Woman ..and empower women of all ages - slim, petit, voluptuous, etc. - who read the comic.

A subdued, black Etta is an insult to R&B goddess ETTA JAMES and every fat black woman, who ever strutted into a church, nightclub or boardroom ..and disrespects everything they've had to do, to get there.

Seriously.  Have Wonder Woman writers and artists ever heard or heard of ..ETTA JAMES? Have you experienced the totality of young Miss Etta, in a live performance of Something's Got A Hold On Me, on YouTube? That woman didn't have a subdued switch. She didn't come in quasi-hot flavor. The vibe has always been 'get ready for Etta' ..or get the hell outta' the way!

Dr. Marston imagined Etta Candy, like big-gal comedic actresses Mae West or Mo'Nique, to be a creature of extremes, visually and every other way. So, modern Etta might feel like a racial stereotype to some people, ..and so what? Politically correct, low-key, BORING black Etta, like White Doctor Poison, Black Valkyrie (in Thor: Ragnarok) or White Lady Ancient One (Doctor Strange movie), ..is a pizza, nobody ordered.

Etta's not Amanda Waller, Nick Fury or some sort of armchair general type. More like Fury's chum, Dum'Dum Dugan, she's much more interesting in action, with Diana and Steve. I think she's a little like a female B. A. Barackus of the The A-Team, in that way. That's why stories should keep her in the field of action. She's such a badass and so much moreso, than Waller...always has been.

Etta Candy belongs in action, ..right next to the Amazing Amazon!

Imagine that there's a little, fat black girl out there, who just shaved her little Afro-puffs, into a Mohawk (or whatever Mr. T had). Imagine she's getting ready to jump off some lawn furniture in her backyard and bust both of her knees, open - Mama's in the window, spanking on stand-by - but, this little girl is fearless. Maybe, she and her pudgy, little Caucasian, Arab, Latina and First Nation BFFs feel invincible and beautiful, because they saw Etta Candy in Wonder Woman: Bloodlines ..or picked up one of her big brother's Wonder Woman comic books.

That's powerful. Go get 'em, Etta.

Furthermore, narratively speaking, the character interplay is so much more interesting and FUN, than watching Wonder Woman interacting with her "sister" heroes, ..Donna Troy, Queen Nubia, Yara Flor and Cassie Sandsmark - essentially, slightly younger American Wonder Woman, black Wonder Woman, fun Latino Wonder Woman and teen girl Wonder Woman. While the sameness between all of them sometimes gets a little boring, seeing them battling the forces of darkness by Wonder Woman's side is every bit as thrilling and full of surprises, ..as getting Batman and Robin, together!

There are so many fabulous examples of big, bombastically beautiful and dynamic black women, who inspire the people around them ..or through their art. Are we to believe artists can't find ONE gloriously iconic, FAT black woman, any-where, ..to model Etta Candy on?

What about Adele, Melissa McCarthy, Rebel Wilson, Meghan Trainor, Kathy Najimy...Epic Movie's White Bitch, Jennifer Coolidge? Yes, I know half of these gorgeous ladies went on a diet and lost some or all of their weight...aren't fat, anymore. Still, ..a comic artist, struggling with Etta's sizeist and racial politics, can just think of any one of them, at some time in their careers...

And add 'black'. You get a very cool, modern-day Etta Beth Candy.

Imagine WONDER WOMAN 3 with ..Gal Gadot, Vera Farmiga as JANUS and the Amber Riley from this album cover (above) as ETTA CANDY. Buh'bye boring, half-ass PC Etta!

One of the fundamental superpowers of the Wonder Woman comic has been its mass proliferation of the idea that, in every woman, ..there's a Wonder Woman. In context, that's far MORE progressive, than changing Etta's race or size, and I think every little girl deserves to embrace and internalize that. The world is full of all shapes and sizes of women, ..and they're ALL beautiful!

Wonder Woman's nudity and Etta's morbid obesity make powerful statements about women's bodies.

When we cover up Wonder Woman, without context, we're inviting people, especially little people, to think women's bodies are inherently vulgar and need to be fixed, with covering up. When we slim-prove Etta into a wiseacre, second rate, plain-clothes Queen Nubia, (Wonder Woman's perfect, Amazon queen superhero-sister) we're inviting them to think something's inherently better about looking like Nubia, ..than looking like Etta.

You Wonder Woman writers are going to have to do, better than that.

Wonder-creator Dr. William Moulton Marston got this right, ..way back in 1942. He gave Wonder Woman a classic companion, who is decidedly unlike her enough - visually, narratively, etc. - that there will always be rich, self-sustaining contrast, drama and comedy between them. I think today's creative teams should follow their lead. Read those old war era comics, and you will see it doesn't matter what color or race Etta is...never has, really.

Etta is perfect imperfection. Less Etta is a lesser Etta. Keep Etta Candy FAT.

Look alive, kangaliers!


Mel Dyer, without his fine, coyote-hatinGoldiweillerKirby (now moved on to that big, coyote-hatin' hate group in the Sky) continues a somewhat bleaker, dogless existence in the Capitol Hill area of Washington, DC. He has been an active member of the Latino Culture Council of the Capitol Area (El Consejo de Cultura Latina – La Zona del Capitolio) and the Kiwanis Club of Capitol Hill.

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